Last Wednesday I feel like I became a “new mom”. Bodhi was the same age Beckett was the day he died. Now all things are new to me again. I have never had to deal with a mobile baby, teething, first foods etc. I do look forward to these things, but look forward with caution. I am still scared everyday and do my best to enjoy every second I have with Bodhi.
I still often wonder if Beckett is mad at us and feels like we replaced him in some way. Silly I know, but you just wish so much that you could see him and tell him how much you love and miss him. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about him and wonder if he was here what our life would be like. No doubt I would be busy chasing around a 2 year old and finding fun family things to do this summer.
Bodhi is doing well, judging by the amount of drool and finger chewing going on I think he is teething already. He also rolled over the other day, something Beckett never got a chance to do. It was exciting for both of us. No more having unsupervised naps on our bed!
Here is a picture of him before he did it...
Hi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI relate to all of this...our rainbow baby Amy is now 3 days over the age when her sister went to Heaven...it's hard.
Oh Bodhi is just adorable!! I'm sure Beckett is loving him too!
ReplyDeleteThese are all common thoughts for parents dealing with loss.
ReplyDeleteIn this realm, we do the best we can, knowing that if there was anything esle we could have done, our children would still be with us.
In reality, you know as well as I do that there is not much that can be said that brings much comfort.
Just know that we understand your feelings, while extremely happy to celebrate new milestones in your journey.
He's a beautiful boy - so glad you're discovering new experiences each day.
God Bless,
Anna