- "It has been a year, they should just get over it and move on" - yes, I heard this recently, referring to someone else's grief. I was shocked this was being said to me.
- "Just sent my child off to camp for a week, hope I can survive without her" - you chose to send your child away for a week, I am sure you will survive. Try never seeing yours again and then we can discuss survival.
- "Things happen for a reason" - would love to know what that is.
- "He is in a better place" - if it is so good why are we all not there? Who says it is better then with his parents that love him?
- "You can always have another child" - Maybe, maybe not. We want the child we just lost not a new one. You can't replace one with another.
- "You are so strong, I could never go through what you are going through" - I wasn't given the choice and really have no options.
- "I know how you feel" This is usually followed by "I recently lost my sister/dad/dog/uncle" - Unless you have lost a child you really do not know how we feel, it is very different from losing anyone else.
- "I wanted to call or visit, but it was too hard" - It is hard for us too.
- "Be glad he was only 4 months and not 4 years"- Age does not determine love
- "It has been some time now, you must be feeling better." - It isn't like a cold or the flu, you never get "better," just different.
Our days are filled with ups and downs and we do not know what our day will bring until it is over.
People need to understand that if we find a situation hard to bare it is not because we are not happy your child is celebrating, it is because it reminds us that our child never will. We are happy for you, just very sad for us.
If you say something insensitive and catch yourself, just apologize and move forward